Love and Friendship are often considered two sides of the same coin. They are so close yet posing back to back.... They are together and yet so far apart.
i have seen many love stories stemming from friendship. Such couples are likely to stick together, tolerating all ups and downs, passing seven year itch gracefully cause may be even before their relationship, what floats before them is their friendship.
They know each other better than their own self. Though such awareness can lead them in utter boredom after some time, it still remains the most efficacious binding force which keeps them together.
This may be is the theorem which states that every woman searches best friend in her husband or to make it free from gender bias, lets say that all of us look for best friend in our spouse. (Though i am inexperienced in the matter of having a spouse, whether or not my best friend, i feel this particular theorem remains hypothetical in most of the cases, i cant imagine my husband treating me as his best friend and telling me about how he still has feelings for his first love or how he has hots for a new chick in his office.... *trouble* , this most prolly be the time, i would forget about the friendship and rather be his dotting wife.... ;) )
what if one has to choose between his/her love and his/her friend. what should one do not to get beaten up by either side. I am confused......
if its my love who is choosing his friend over me, i would go bananas. (choosing friend over me here means abandoning his relationship with me forever for his friend, its not the possessive streak where some women want their men to religiously worship them and treat their guy friends as obstacles in the path of love.....blah blah....)
if its my friend who is choosing his love over me, i would still go bananas.... hmmmm. but again if i want my friend happy with his love, and if that means staying away from me, i should go for it probably. It may be my personal loss but if thats what makes him/her happy, i should be all glad to see him content, irrespective of how much i would miss him/her or how much inhuman may it is on his/her part to do.
Love kills the rationality of mind in 90 out of 100 cases, also assertiveness is one personal quality that could let you balance both, your love and friendship but again love sometimes become The reason of life and mere friendship seems nothing in comparison.
The Uniqueness surrounding LOVE falls heavier on The Multiplicity of FRIENDS. After all Love is only one to Lose and friends are many to Have....
for love it might be an achievement where it single handedly can overpower many friends....but for friends, its heart breaking. It shoots them so deep in heart and produces such an eviscerating feeling that keeps them empty and wondering for many days later of where they and their care went wrong.
may be the extent of it. I care sometimes out of bounds and after some time, it becomes obligatory on the receiver's part and then they start backing off.....entirely my mistake...but how would i change myself?????
how would i tell myself that they are not extension of my personality. may be they are strong enough to take better care of themselves than what i do.
may be i should leave them alone in whatever situation they are in, may be i should stop telling them the ways of life which i think i learned through pain, they can figure them out or may be i was underestimating them, they already knew.
may be i should stop telling them whats right and whats wrong, they have their own experiences, instincts to guide them through.....may be i should stop valuing myself more as someone they might be wanting in times of need. may be they have better shoulder to cry on....may be they have someone of their own who likes them more than me........
This is may be the only way i can keep my friends from drifting apart, this is may be the way i could give them the breathing space they deserve.....
but what if this space was always given when necessary but i wasnt in the picture at all???? what if i was the mere pawn to be used for the games of life, what if i was mere a tissue to wipe their tears and then thrown in the dustbin.....i mean who cares for the tissue once their tears stop streaming.....it is to be wiped with,to be crumpled in the angry fist and ultimately thrown in shadowy corner......you get bunch of such tissues scattered around......who needs to be specific with them???? One who makes you cry could be one special............tissues are trifles.
may be i should take it as a friend should................... let me pack my bags for a guilt trip.....you be happy my friend....its NOT your fault......!!!!